01-19-2006, 10:04 AM
TOP FOUR ADULT JOKES OF 2005
Number 1
A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow
goes
into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and
says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll
forgive me." She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm
in
room 221."
Number 2
One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing
his
wife's arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a
gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The
husband,
rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps
his
wife again. "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"
Number 3
Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number
of
years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a
terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle
slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk
about
it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the
compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his
wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. "What's
wrong,
Bill?" she asked. "Do you remember that I told you how I had this
tremendous
urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" "Oh, Bill, you didn't!"
she
exclaimed. "Yes, I did." he replied. "My God, Bill, what happened?" "I
got
fired." "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"
"Oh...she
got fired too."
Number 4
A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the
breakfast
table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we
were
sitting here at this breakfast table together." "I know," the old man
said.
We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago."
"Well,"
Granny snickered. "Let's relive some old times." Where upon, the two
stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. "You know, honey," the
little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you
today
as they were fifty years ago." I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps.
One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."
Number 1
A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow
goes
into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and
says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll
forgive me." She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm
in
room 221."
Number 2
One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing
his
wife's arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a
gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The
husband,
rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps
his
wife again. "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"
Number 3
Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number
of
years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a
terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle
slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk
about
it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the
compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his
wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. "What's
wrong,
Bill?" she asked. "Do you remember that I told you how I had this
tremendous
urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" "Oh, Bill, you didn't!"
she
exclaimed. "Yes, I did." he replied. "My God, Bill, what happened?" "I
got
fired." "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"
"Oh...she
got fired too."
Number 4
A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the
breakfast
table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we
were
sitting here at this breakfast table together." "I know," the old man
said.
We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago."
"Well,"
Granny snickered. "Let's relive some old times." Where upon, the two
stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. "You know, honey," the
little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you
today
as they were fifty years ago." I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps.
One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."