I am there....been there for 17 stupid, foolish, blind, boring , demeaning, abusive, sarcastic, narsacistic, egomeniacle, holyer than thow, unproductive, intellectually starved, sex as a bargaining factor (if at all) , she aint pretty she just looks that way years......
tell your buddy straight up.....or have him call me
You know I don't mean to be rude here, but if buddy can't see what kinda s**t he's in, then maybe he's happy there. Leave him fight his own battle if he wants to. Otherwise I'd say good thing he's with her so that she's not facking up anyone else's life. I know that sounds harsh but I don't feel for a person weak enough or so blinded by love as to be thrown down by a woman in such a manner.
Raine,Aug 16 2005, 01:11 AM Wrote:You know I don't mean to be rude here, but if buddy can't see what kinda s**t he's in, then maybe he's happy there. Leave him fight his own battle if he wants to. Otherwise I'd say good thing he's with her so that she's not facking up anyone else's life. I know that sounds harsh but I don't feel for a person weak enough or so blinded by love as to be thrown down by a woman in such a manner.
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That sounds like what your gf does to you Raine. Are you sure your not in the same position always trying to please her but never gaining any ground?
I am serious here.
problem is that sometimes the guys don't listen even when deep down they know that it ain't right for them.
about the best thing you can do is just be his friend.. support his decisions, but either way, but when try to talk to him about things that bring him down.
It's a tough balance, and honestly, he won't move on until he's ready himself to move on.
if possible, and you could get more time with the guy, get him around some decent women.. women who'll lure him away... sometimes half the problem is that the guy is afraid of losing the woman 'cause he doesn't think he can find better...
and he's got to know he can find better.
darkpuppet,Aug 15 2005, 10:05 PM Wrote:if possible, and you could get more time with the guy, get him around some decent women.. women who'll lure him away... sometimes half the problem is that the guy is afraid of losing the woman 'cause he doesn't think he can find better...
and he's got to know he can find better.
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I said the exact same thing to anthony earlier...damn we're good!! :)
There's no quick right answer for these situations. By intervening, it's quite possible you'll encounter resentment instead of gratitude.
It seems to me that most people who stay in abusive relationships have a problem with self-esteem. They rather be in a bad relationship than none at all.
ZTWsugardaddy,Aug 15 2005, 10:33 PM Wrote:There's no quick right answer for these situations. By intervening, it's quite possible you'll encounter resentment instead of gratitude.
It seems to me that most people who stay in abusive relationships have a problem with self-esteem. They rather be in a bad relationship than none at all.
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I agree with that too!!!
Stay out of it. You'll likely lose his friendship if you try to butt in. Just be around for when he wakes up!
bluetoy,Aug 16 2005, 06:32 AM Wrote:Stay out of it. You'll likely lose his friendship if you try to butt in. Just be around for when he wakes up!
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This sounds about right Unfortunately.
He's one of my best friends and I would honestly die if he resented me for destroying his relationship with the beast.
I guess all I can do is sit back and wait for him to crash. :(
meford4u,Aug 15 2005, 08:53 PM Wrote:Raine,Aug 16 2005, 01:11 AM Wrote:You know I don't mean to be rude here, but if buddy can't see what kinda s**t he's in, then maybe he's happy there. Leave him fight his own battle if he wants to. Otherwise I'd say good thing he's with her so that she's not facking up anyone else's life. I know that sounds harsh but I don't feel for a person weak enough or so blinded by love as to be thrown down by a woman in such a manner.
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That sounds like what your gf does to you Raine. Are you sure your not in the same position always trying to please her but never gaining any ground?
I am serious here.
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Maybe a little... :unsure: :unsure: :lol:
dad,Aug 15 2005, 08:50 PM Wrote:I am there....been there for 17 stupid, foolish, blind, boring , demeaning, abusive, sarcastic, narsacistic, egomeniacle, holyer than thow, unproductive, intellectually starved, sex as a bargaining factor (if at all) , she aint pretty she just looks that way years......
tell your buddy straight up.....or have him call me
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GET OUT THEN!!!! :blink:
Until your friend sees for himself that he's got a problem (and it doesn't sound like he's there yet) any attempt on your part or others to present a "solution" will be seen as meddling - and you can be sure that she'll use that against you and ultimately against him.
There is either something in the relationship that he still values, or he is seriously lacking in self respect (and perhaps both) ... in either case for his sake your best bet is to remain a supportive and non-judgemental friend that will be there for him if and when he changes his mind about being with her.
IMO the last thing you want to do is put him in a position where he has to make a choice between your friendship and his relationship with her; that's her opportunity to isolate him even more from his friends and family. In fact, if you were capable of a little sleight of hand, you may even want to "befriend" her and stay close to the situation.
And, oh yeah ... been there, done that ... my brother did just what I described above. It took the death of my father and the witch's reaction to it to bring me to my senses.
Ive never been in a relationship like this. I walk soon as anything like that happens.
Id sit down with him and tell him what you think about the relationship, but obviously tell him that he can do what he wants, and your their for him.
Just wait till it ends, then take him out and get him back in the game. Then go light that bitches house on fire. Or punch her in th face while she sleeping.